To a large extent, the Buddha’s own spiritual journey is taken to be an exemplar of the Buddhist spiritual journey in general. Therefore, the fact that Siddhartha left his home and all he held dear is thought to be, not only a parable about the importance of nonattachment, but an instruction that spiritual seekers in the Buddhist tradition should rid themselves of these attachments first, in order to progress toward their own enlightenment.
Of course, the history of Buddhism is thousands of years long, and over the course of this vast time span the system of thought has undergone innumerable changes and has branched into many different versions. Thus, any statement about what Buddhism teaches must be accompanied by some degree of equivocation, unless it is a factual statement about the history of Buddhism or the contents of its major texts. This is especially true with regard to the Noble Eightfold Path and the principle of nonattachment. The majority of practitioners of Buddhism around the world do not give up their possessions and leave their families. Instead of taking nonattachment to this extreme, most Buddhists engage in this practice in ways compatible with daily life.
According to one school of thought, nonattachment is a mental state, not a material state. It doesn’t matter, therefore, whether one accumulates wealth or raises a family, since the enlightened spirit is completely indifferent to all states of affairs in the material world. This introduces one of the most widely known paradoxes of Buddhism, which directly relates to nonattachment. Although Buddhists are encouraged to cultivate nonattachment, ridding themselves of all emotional ties to the world and coming to understand the fundamental valueless nature of everything that happens in this life, the argument has been made that nonattachment itself constitutes a kind of attachment. People who hold this opinion claim that striving for nonattachment is still striving, and one is attached to nonattachment because one is trying to achieve that state.
A common approach to the paradox of nonattachment is to conceptualize nonattachment as a mental state. Thus, even if the Buddhist has a family or a job, one can practice nonattachment by limiting the degree to which one is emotionally affected by these things. To some, particularly in the Western world, this seems like a heartless, noncommittal philosophy, particularly because many Buddhists do not worship deities in the same way that many monotheistic religions’ practitioners do. However, by adopting this attitude toward live and the universe, Buddhists can work on perfecting the Noble Eightfold Path by engaging in its recommendations: right view, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration. No matter what stage a person is at in his or her own spiritual journey, giving pause to consider the principle of nonattachment can help with progress in these eight steps.
Quoting Scripture
Nyanatiloka was a prominent western Pali scholar/translator. His book, “The Word of the Buddha”, 1970, was a core text in my training at the Buddhist Society of Victoria, and at Bodhinyana Monastery, near Perth, WA. It is a selection of Pali scriptures chosen to define core Buddhist doctrine. All are attributed to the historical Buddha who died 2500 years ago.
The monastic tradition of Buddhism involves detachment and turning away from “worldly pursuits” in the daily life of the monks. Scriptures like those selected by Nyanatiloka are used to support this detachment in daily life.
I have boiled down these scriptures to starkly reveal the scriptural basis of such detachment. What follows is not flattering, but we seek teachings for ordinary people who live in this modern western world. They are not training to become monks in a traditional monastery.
“Everything in life is suffering, unreliable and not yours”, (A 3. 134, SN 22.94 + AN 1. 15, SN 22.59) “All wise people know this”, (SN 22. 94 + AN 1. 15).
“Your thoughts and feelings are not yours because they change” (DN 15 + M 148)
“Your thoughts and consciousness change faster than your body” (SN 12. 62)
“We exist only in the present, the past is only memory. For any moment of the past, only that moment was real at the time.” (DN 9 & DN 
“Spiritual practice is impossible if you believe that your soul is your body” (SN 12. 25)
“Ignorant intentions (avijja + sankhara) cause a painful situation to recur (bhava + jati), pain assails (phassa + vedana) us through our sense doors and mind (vinnana + nama-rupa + sal-ayatana), we want (upadana + tanha) to get rid of the unavoidable pain and so we suffer.” (12 point dependent origination, incl jara-marana)
Ignorant intentions also cause pleasant situations to recur, pleasure comes to us, we want the situation to continue, and so we suffer when it ends (jara-marana).”
“When ignorance ceases, such pleasant and unpleasant situation do not recur, the desire to get rid of or prolong the experience ceases, and so suffering ceases.” (SN 12. 1)
“When ignorance (of no-self and impermanence) and wanting cease, the pleasant or unpleasant situation does not recur” (MN 43)
Is such material suitable for ordinary people trying to succeed in their lives and deal with a major life crisis?
Comment
It is hardly wise to adopt the “right view” that everything is suffering and unreliable. Such pessimism is actually a major cause of suffering.
To think that your thoughts and feelings are not your own is not a good technique to deal with the destructive thoughts and feelings that block access to Buddha’s enlightenment.
Problems are often caused because one is not properly in contact with one’s own inner feelings, nor in contact with the natural mechanisms to release this old stored pain. To disown one’s emotions can compound the suppression of painful feelings and suppress their natural release, and thus fuel destructive addictions and harmful addictive behavior.
To disown ties and relationships in an isolated life can easily weaken the few supportive relationships and interests that still exist.
These issues of encouraging detachment for meditators is important. Such people often turn to meditation because they have inadequate connections to the outside world.
Health and healing are essential aspects of Buddha’s enlightenment. Health and healing involve listening to and respecting the real needs of your body, which include stretch, exercise for strength and stamina, nourishment, rest, and therapy like massage and physiotherapy. To think that your spiritual practice will fail if you regard your body as your soul can sabotage such self-care, allowing the pressures and stresses of life to overrule.
12 Point Dependent Origination of Suffering
The Buddhist doctrine of the 12 point dependent origination (or co-arising) of suffering is quite confusing, and I present an unflattering version of it above. But let me summarize it like this.
Of the 12 points, ignorance (avijja) of Buddhist doctrine of the 4 truths and desire (tanha) are considered the two key points. According to the doctrine, dependent origination of suffering ceases when this ignorance and desire ceases.
I examine these 4 truths in detail in my articles on Philosophy versus Buddhist Doctrine. In short, this doctrine says that everything is suffering, this is caused by your desires, so to end your suffering you should end your desires.
So the doctrine instructs you to adopt these 4 ‘truths’, and systematically weaken and reduce your desire (tanha) and attachment (upadana). This is the Buddhist principle of non-attachment.
When this is cultivated, painful situations do not recur (bhava + jati.) Jati literally means “rebirth”.
Remember, this desire is both the desire for the (renewed) existence of favourable things (bhava – tanha), and the desire for the annihilation of unfavourable things (vibhava – tanha) (D 22 and especially SN 56.11). It is the desire to get and the desire to get rid of.
Comment
It is true that the desire to get something that’s unavailable, or the desire to get rid of something that’s unavoidable (SN 56.11; 1st truth), is a common cause of suffering. But this is misdirected desire. It is the misdirection that is the problem, not the desire itself.
The pedantic will say that the scholars use the word craving, not desire to translate suttas DN 22 and SN 56. 11. But from my extensive experience of Buddhism, I know that to choose the word desire in this context better explains Buddhist thinking on this matter.
It is hardly wise to view desire as the root cause of your suffering. Desire is the driving force behind all human interest and endeavor. And craving is just a more urgent desire because the need is more real.
Problems are often caused by inadequate determination, commitment, or interest in either building up some positive, supportive thing, or facing and resolving problems. They also can be caused by lack of connections and ties to the outside world, so that the necessary help is not available.
To think that there can be effective determination, commitment and interest without desire, or there can be effective ties and connections without attachment, is just confusion.
It is even less wise to believe that one should conform to confused doctrine in order to secure one’s place in the belief system.
Learning from Questions
Since the doctrinal basis of the religious belief system is so questionable, we could choose to just ignore it, and focus on spiritual practice instead. We can choose to enjoy the beautiful stillness and peacefulness of Buddhist meetings, venues, meditation and especially meditation retreats. Let those who hold strange ideas keep them!
Or we could choose to learn from the very questions that the doctrine attracts.
If the expression “Everything is suffering, unreliable and not yours” is taken out of the belief system and applied to spiritual practice instead, then to what does it refer to?
How can the idea of “impermanence and not mine” be applied to the process of dealing with destructive thoughts and feelings that block Buddha’s enlightenment?
How can reverence and respect for your body become an essential part of spiritual practice?
Everything is Miserable, Unreliable and Not Yours
The most useful material I have read that helps convey Buddha’s Teachings on this theme is by the contemporary spiritual sage and author Eckhart Tolle, who is no Buddhist. His books are readily available for your own study, from libraries and bookstores.
Eckhart’s books are well presented and well received. Millions of people have bought and /or read them, often due to favorable recommendations. His first book “The Power of Now” (1997) has been translated into 30 different languages, and there now are Eckhart Tolle study groups in 19 countries.
The Ego
Eckhart’s material on the ego has real significance in applying Buddha’s themes of suffering, unreliable, not mine and desire.
How do I understand and use his material on the ego?
Consider the following habits; essentially human yet destructive. Buddha would call them defilement’s.
1. Impose one’s will on others, without permission nor authority to do so (the usurper)
2. The need for one’s views to be ‘correct,’ to prevail and to not be challenged (the dictator)
3. Expect conflict, prepare for conflict, and thus precipitate conflict, and in truth thrive on conflict. (the antagonist)
4. Reject a clear-cut decision, and chew over the problem until all goodness is sucked out of the decision (the bone gnawer)
5. Reject a clear-cut decision, and dwell on the faults of other person, usually absent (the critic)
6. Fail to take responsibility for one’s mistakes and faults, and blame another instead (irresponsibility)
7. Drown out the beauty of silence, especially inner silence, with unnecessary thought or talk (the noise maker)
8. Rush through the task at hand, and hasten towards some point in the future. (haste)
9. Be derisive of time spent admiring the beauty of Nature (the killjoy)
10. Be derisive of the need to slow down and stop rushing (impatience)
11. Ignore the reality of the here and now, and focus on concepts about the future and past (locked in Time)
12. Explaining or justifying or angrily denying any of the above
13. Never allow the mind to rest, by keeping all these things going (compulsive thinking.)
All these things have something in common besides just suffering for oneself and others. They all come from the same place. It is helpful to call this “the ego.”
Recognizing and Releasing the Ego
The ego is an unavoidable aspect of being human. We have to deal with it somehow. If we fight it we feed it (remember, it thrives on conflict). Instead, we need to be conscious of its antics. The solution is Being the impartial Observer of the ego and its machinations, instead of being the ego and thus fueling it. When we remain unconscious of the ego and its artifices, it’s like identifying with the ego. We become the ego again. It resumes control of our will, and all these destructive habits return with a vengeance. We no longer have a choice – choice has been taken away from us by the ego. We have forgotten our True Nature, which is liberated, and gone unconscious yet again and again. Instead of clear-cut decision, the mind continues to chew over the problem. Compulsive thinking continues to feed the ego.
When we topple the ego from its place of power, we restore our True Nature. The mind ceases to be the Ruler (thin king), and its proper role of servant is restored. It proper role as a wonderful information tool or computer returns. We are no longer the ego.
This is set out quite persuasively in the first chapter of Eckhart’s first book.
Applying the ego to “Everything is Suffering, Unreliable, and Not Yours.”
Suffering (dukkha). Everything related to the ego is suffering. It blasts hope, poisons forgiveness, sours joy, closes the door, clouds judgement, saps energy, destroys confidence, ruins good regard, overrides patience, criticizes, and spurns gratitude. It might have drive, but it depletes energy reserves, instead of conserving and restoring them. So why does it have so much power? What is the way of dealing with it? When the pain becomes really strong, are you not compelled to do something effective about it?
Not me, not mine (anatta.). When the ego is in control, which happens all too often, the focus is to get the task finished, and not on the quality of your consciousness while you do the task. Are you really enjoying the task, feeling gratitude for the opportunity to do it, feeling content and unhurried?
What happens when you shift your attention away from the doing to the quality of the doing? Can you recognize the ego and its tactics? What happens when you examine the ego; and ask yourself : is this really me? Are its artifices really mine?
What is the change in the quality of your experience?
Impermanence, movement (anicca). When the pain is really strong, what are the thoughts like? “It was always like this … He’s always doing that … It will always be like that …” What happens when you cease to be caught in the emotion? What happens when you shift your attention to the movement or motion in the emotion? When you consider “Did I really feel like this yesterday, or an hour ago, or even five minutes ago?” What is the change in the quality of your experience?
Desire, craving (tanha.) When you are suffering because you are wanting to get something that is unavailable, or wanting to get rid of something unavoidable, what is it that you really want? Perhaps it is not related to the unavoidable or unavailable thing? Suppose that the thing you are really wanting is the experience of liberation? If so, why is it in want? What has happened to your true purpose? Why are you looking for it in the wrong place? Can you see how the desire for liberation has usurped and replaced the reality of Being free? (p 31, P of N.) Can you reawaken to consciousness Now?
When you are suffering because your mind will not rest, and contentment and peace are far away, can you see that the craving to think has usurped not just the craving to be free, but also the experience of freedom itself? Is not this addictive thinking a pseudo escape from suffering, concealing the lack of peace but not fulfilling the need for peace?
The Various Buddhist Practices
Most Buddhist practices today are no different from those that have been followed since centuries. Here are some of the most commonly followed practices of Buddhism.
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Medita
The first amongst all Buddhist practices is that of meditation. It is believed that this is the first, and possibly the only real step towards attaining enlightenment and allowing yourself spiritual freedom. Buddhism believes in two particular forms of meditation, the forms being Samatha (Tranquility Meditation) and Vipassana (Insight Meditation).
Tranquility meditation is reference to training the mind to concentrate and ward off all unnecessary thoughts. It is also about learning how to detach from all worldly possessions of the external world, and leading yourself to the path of self control, self possession, and absolute composure if the mind.
The next kind is Insight meditation, and this form is considered as a higher form of meditation as opposed to the one formerly mentioned. This form of meditation is also more about mindfulness rather than just concentration. Unlike concentration, which is only about complete focus on an object (irrespective of what it is), when practicing mindfulness, it is about a combination of focus along with comprehension on the object of focus.
Mantras or Chanting
Chanting is a large part of the religion. In ancient India, when the concept of written text or scriptures was rare, it was through these words that were chanted that knowledge was passed down. The mantras are also believed as being very powerful words with immense spiritual or supernatural powers. The various chants used in Buddhism are also said to be so powerful, that they have the ability to protect, and they are used in times of danger, or to protect oneself against misfortune of any kind.
Vegetarianism
It truly is interesting to learn that although several Buddhists, or rather, most Buddhists follow vegetarianism, Buddha did not prohibit the consumption of meat as a part of the diet. Today however, this decision has become a matter of individual choice. While some people choose not to eat meat, others do not mind working otherwise. There are also some who may eat meat, but will limit their consumption to the bare minimum. Possibly the best part about Buddhism is the fact that it does not believe in imposing anything on people, most of the beliefs of Buddhism are quite liberal, thus allowing them the freedom to make decisions.
While those were some of the more commonly followed practices, other practices include:
Mudras (Hand gestures)
Pilgrimage
Prayer Wheels
Making Offerings
Lighting of Candles and Incense
Following Gestures of Respect
Monasticism or Asceticism
Buddhism has always been a fascinating religion, and has seen disciples from the world-over. It is a great way to go for all those people who have always been seeking the purpose of life, and have been trying to understand what the purpose of their being is. And for those who are trying to understand, here are some words by Buddha that you may want to remember always…